The Most Surprising Thing I’m Grateful for This Year + 2 Gifts for YOU!

During this time of the year, we often reflect on what we are most grateful for.

On the top of my list (besides dear loved ones and good health) is my amicable relationship with my ex-husband, Marc.

The support, peace, and love our stable relationship gives to our daughter has helped her to feel safe, secure, and confident. It was a conscious decision I made during our separation to provide her with a model of what a functional and healthy connection looks and feels like, which sets the foundation for her future relationships.

I know our amicable divorce is uncommon and unconventional. People often ask how we ended things so peacefully. I’m sharing the simplest and hardest thing I did to get to this point because it resulted in a stunning transformation.

No matter where you are in life (building a career, juggling acts as a mom, experiencing transition), please read on: practice my advice and see the magic unfold for you, too. And don’t forget to scroll down to grab my gifts for you! :)

While dating in New York City, I heard countless stories of acrimonious and toxic interactions with ex-spouses.

A 5-step system to incorporate self-care and gratitude to live your best life.

I witnessed ex-couples not communicating directly, racking up costly attorney bills, and putting their kids in the middle of already-uncomfortable conversations as confidantes and messengers.

In most cases, vitriol and blame become the crutches to hobble out of a toxic environment. Not everyone can maintain a friendship with their ex—every life circumstance differs.

So what did I do to let go of negative and toxic feelings that can accompany tough transitions? As with many endings, there were many complex layers to work through, but I started from a place of gratitude.

Yes, of course, I went through a period of tremendous sadness and heartache. And while triggers from the past still exist, I have chosen to be grateful for the lessons and takeaways, which is a powerful soul purification.

SKIN + SOUL PURIFICATION

How we treat our skin is how we treat our souls. Just like a cleanser purifies our skin, gratitude purifies our souls.

• I appreciated the chance to clean up my side of the street.

• I am thankful for the good (and not-so-good) experiences we shared because they prepared me for who I am today.

• I am grateful to have illuminated what didn’t work for me in the marriage, and this clarity has brought what does work for me.

• I love the second chance to discover who I am and honor authenticity.

• And, most importantly, I am profoundly grateful that our union gave us our beautiful daughter.

One of my favorite quotes is by Mizuta Masahide, a seventeenth-century Japanese poet and samurai, saying, “Barn’s burnt down—now I can see the moon.”

When the chips are down and we choose to live by this adage, we can gain invaluable clarity.

This is why I did not view my divorce as an end or failure. I looked up and saw the marvelous “moon” instead. The end of my relationship was a new beginning.

It takes immense inner work to get to this point. Beauty creams nourish our outer radiance, and gratitude restores our inner shine. What we appreciate appreciates; when we bask in abundance, we radiate what I call the “gratitude glow.”

The Gratitude Glow

A gratitude glow can take years off your face. When we live in the aura of appreciation, peace and beauty diminish stress lines and magnify youthful vibrancy. An attitude of gratitude can lift any burden off your shoulders so that you feel free, breathe easy, and walk with poise.

When past wounds resurface from time to time, I consider the Korean skin philosophy that deals with the root cause: I view these stressors as an opportunity to grow with awareness and heal from within.

Hiding or ignoring the problems only robs me of self-growth, which is key to emotional freedom.

When you hurt, turn to gratitude.

When you are angry, come back to gratitude.

When you feel down, call in gratitude.

Sometimes it is the last thing you’ll want to do, but even if you have to say something as basic as, “I’m grateful that I have a roof over my head, that I can see, walk, and breathe,” gratitude will bring you home to love, which is where all sustainable decisions and actions are made.

In any life situation, we have choices: we can choose to feel robbed, angry, or depleted during conflicts, or we can allow gratitude to restore and renew our spirits continually.

Our souls sing freely when we let go of the past, the weight of the present, and the worries of the future. To live in gratitude is to fully enjoy, relish, and savor the abundance in and around us.

It’s a way of being, and your gratitude glow will magnetize a lifetime of momentous, radiant miracles ahead.

As a token of gratitude for YOU, I have two gifts that I think you will love below!

GIFT 1: MARC’S AMAZING TURKEY RECIPE

Every Thanksgiving, we had an amazing meal cooked by Marc. This year, my partner and I are hosting Friendsgiving, and I have no idea how to make a turkey! So I asked my ex to share his delicious turkey recipe that we enjoyed for nearly 20 years together.

My daughter recorded it while they were driving, and he permitted me to share it with you. It’s short and easy to follow… and sooo yummy!

GIFT 2: GRATITUDE GLOW RITUAL RECIPE

From Radical Radiance, chapter 12

RITUAL: Gratitude Gathering
To illuminate group glow
Time: 5+ minutes
Ingredients: Two or more people

Notes: This is an excellent team or group activity or a fun dinner game. Tell everyone to come prepared to share something they appreciate about a designated person. I usually send a message like, “We’re playing a fun little appreciation game at dinner! Please come prepared to share something you appreciate, admire, or are grateful for about person X.”

Group Gratitude Glow

At a Savor Beauty team meeting: the group glow after sharing our gratitude for each other was undeniable!

1. Share. Set the stage by saying that everyone will share appreciation about a designated person in the room. You can break the ice by going first.

2. Exchange. Allow everyone in the room to share gratitude statements or stories.

3. Appreciate. In the end, you can close the ritual with a personal “thank you” to everyone.

4. Savor. Enjoy the gratitude glow that will uplift everyone present!